To the sweat drop down my balls

So it's become apparent to me that someday I might (well more and more it seems to be confirmed) become an insane bird lady. It's really something that you can't control, no matter how much agency you think that you have over your life. I mean, Bird Noir taking a bath or eating rice does change my life on a daily basis. I had almost given up on my predetermined destiny when I came across this video several days ago:



and if that ain't enough, I bring you this:



Now I feel a fear so deep inside that I must fight thiswith everything I have. Holy shit.

Mega-what?

So the following question is in my GRE math study guide:

"Mr. Megabuck drove his new Cardiac sedan 34-1/2 miles and used 3-1/4 gallons of gasoline. How many miles per gallon did he average?"

Not only am I wondering how to answer this question, but I am also wondering how I can find Mr Megabuck. Perhaps this is him...

1837

Remember when this is the City of Chicago Seal? Way to go Chicago for thinking of all of my favorite things and placing them in one quintessential icon of my dreams & aspirations. The only things that could possibly be an improvement would be a dinosaur and/or eagle.

Chicago, there's always room to improve.

Pandemic

Highlight of the weekend: A woman at Discovery Park pointed out a raccoon in the bushes off of the trail and said "Oh look at the raccoon, we should be careful, it might have AIDS." Then after a minute of pondering, she corrected herself with "Oh not AIDS, Rabies." Same thing, right?

A surprise treat awaits you

To celebrate our final remaining days with our current employer, my tiny colleague and I decided that we would give in to temptation and visit the Panda Express. We had been resisting for a year and a half and we thought that it was time to treat ourselves. However, as was to be expected, there were so many regrets:

1 Minute [after ordering]: feelings of excitement, delusions of grandeur, immortality

5 Minutes: still
30 Minutes: serious regret

45 Minutes: loss of ability to move limbs, sit upright, vertigo-must lie on the floor

75 Minutes: gas

I do not like where this is going. I also do not believe that my fortune of "A surprise treat awaits you" bodes well for me.